i've been busy

hence the lack of posts.

what's happened since my last? valentine's day? vegas? lot's of v's!

but those are not the things i'm going to write about. instead i'm going to write about this crazy dream i had:

last night i had this dream that i was lady gaga's new playmate/stand in (i can't really tell...i just remember that we were dressed in fucking awesome matching outfits with crazy wigs and make-up on) and we were on this cruise with a bunch of people i know on our way to a place really familiar. i think i've been there before in another dream...this tropical paradise that was a boat's ride away from this beautiful island that looked so familiar. gaga kept on giving me drinks in which she would mix is drops of this black liquid that came in a bottle with an illegible label that somehow i construed as being the devil's blood. we would drink these drinks and soar through the skies and dive into the oceans but at the same time we'd be chased by these horrifying monsters or demons. and then i somehow found myself hiking on this path to the remote island with my best friend and i wasn't with gaga anymore and i was dressed in normal vacation clothes. on this path, we came across this abandoned bathroom and outside the bathroom were these ginormous animal traps with all these huge dead dogs stuck in them. and my best friend decided to open one of them to scare me and the animals in this one trap started to decompose right before my eyes and i couldn't stop gagging. then i ran into the bathroom stalls where i found my ex boyfriend having sex with a 14 year old black girl and sucking out her menstrual blood with a tampon and injecting the blood into her mouth. and for some reason i really really needed that tampon but i didn't want to go near it because i was convinced this girl was diseased. then i found my way to the island again...and that's all i remember.

today i was having lunch with my little brother and my mom and william asked me: "have you ever lost your dignity before?" and i instantly got chills because i specifically remember someone asking me the exact same question three times in my dreams. and i think my reply was "I sold my soul to the devil."