sometime i'm just a big pussy. i wish i had some fucking guts.
{all images from random people's tumblrs}
20110107
20110106
20110105
just one more before i go to bed
one thing i can not fucking stand is lying. there's no good that ever comes out of it (despite whatever temporary relief), the truth is bound to come out sooner or later...so why bother? not to mention, my intuition is usually spot on, almost mystical. so just don't do it. especially if you suck at hiding your tracks...don't do it. people often think i'm a ditz but i'm smarter and shrewder and wiser than i look. so please spare yourselves and do not lie. and on top of that, don't try to hide shit either.
let's just all be honest always,
no fronts,
just purely you and purely me.
excuse me while i kill this blunt before i say what i have to say
i'm afraid of feelings but always surrender to any and all.
my parents are the loneliest people i know.
time is my enemy.
the postal service always reminds me of high school love that never was.
i appreciate good taste and inspirational style.
you have no idea who i even am and neither do i.
i like to get drunk and high and am not ashamed one bit.
just love me and text me back.
20110104
yes.
I’ve reached a weird point in my life. I’m beginning to realize that after all these years, I am nothing more than a big, dumb baby. What have I gained from my education? What have I learned that is beneficial to living my life? What do I even remember from the 30+ units of classes that I’ve taken at university? When will I ever become completely independent? Why am I still stuck in this extended post-grad slump? Have I learned anything from my wasted years of hardcore partying? What have I learned about love? Have I ever been in love? What is love? Have I ever experienced true happiness? Why do I always want to escape any sort of confinement, whether it’s physical or mental? Why am I always being told to be something I’m not? Is there going to be life after death? What is death? Why am I here? Why was I born as myself and not someone else? Is it fair to have been born as myself instead of someone else? What standard do we base fairness on? What the fuck is wrong with this weather? Why am I working here when I’m not even getting paid? Will my studying even pay off in the end? Do I really even want to go to law school? Why do I want to be a lawyer? Why? Why? What? When? Where? Fuck. I don’t even want to know.
All I want to know is...what’s the fucking point? I stress over all these things only to realize that there is no reason to stress when I don’t even know what the fucking point of all this is. Just live. Live as though there is no point. Live unapologetically. Live because we were born into this world whether or not we like it. Live because we are alive. And whether or not there is a heaven or a hell doesn’t even matter because we are here for now and all we can do is make the best of our time being. Make life beautiful instead of something that we must trudge through because in the end nothing will matter or exist except memories.
And twinkies.
20110103
do old flames ever burn out?
i know for certain that some are so dead that the match has disintegrated completely.
20110102
two thousand and eleven
december 31 2010 signified the end of the first decade of this millennium. for some reason--or maybe it's just me--decades are becoming more and more difficult to be felt. nevertheless, the first decade is over. and who knows? come 2012, we may never ever see the end of a decade again.
i guess that's why i wanted to
however, this NYE was more of a fizzle at best. but i'm not complaining; i got to spend it with the people i love the most. what more can i ask for?
anyhoo, i'm sure all bloggers do this but i'm not going to. new year's resolutions. hate them, never have kept even one of them, and this year won't be any different. i'd rather start off the year without any expectations. i am the best i can be for now, whether or not i am happy with how i currently am. i guess i can plan to do this or that this year but i don't know how the future will unfold so i don't want to limit myself to a list of resolutions that may or may not be relevant to my future. so instead of making promises that will inevitably be broken, begin the year with a weightless heart and betterment will just occur. just live and see what happens. the world may end in 2 years anyway.
20101229
all boys are the same and all girls are the same LOL
it's ridiculous how much girls stress out over the stupidest shit when it comes to relationships with dudes. why isn't he texting me back? why hasn't he texted me all day? why isn't he calling me even though he said he would? why? why? why?
i wonder why we wonder these things? why do girls feel the need to be the center of their guy's attention 24/7? who cares if for one second we aren't what they are thinking about? would we even be into a guy who's so obsessed with us that he doesn't do anything but think about us and text/call us all day long?
NO. LET ME REPEAT: NO.
so suck it up. get back to your life. do your own thang. and if he happens to text you or ring you, GREAT! if not, you just go on and do you. simple. no one likes a desperate, attention-craving, needy bitch anyway. be cool.
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